So mom's what do we do now? How do you discipline a 18 month old?
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14 years ago
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Discipline
I need help disciplining Hallie. We first tried TIME OUT which worked wonders. My husband and I thought yeah we totally have this parenting thing down. HAHA Little did we know that it would stop working after a couple months. After that we started lightly slapping her hand when she did something bad. It didn't take long for her to start slapping her own hand and saying "No, No" to herself. As funny as it was to watch we knew that it meant it was no longer working.
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What do you mean time out wasn't working? Like why?
ReplyDeleteI tend to think anything will work if you stick to it and BE CONSISTENT. We have used time out since Koen was like 13 months. When he was little I would hold him facing the corner for 1 minute, he couldn't move or see me and it would make him really mad.
Also with a kid that age I think you have to pick your battles, they are so in to EVERYTHING and some things just arent worth. I know I didn't want to be holding Ko in time out every hour. Picky your battles and stick with your punishment.
(we also strapped Koen in a booster seat that faced the corner when he got a little bigger. He doesn't like being "stuck" ;)
I've been trying out the same things Britt. He gets mad when he's in time out or if i slap his hand. I put him in his high chair, strap him down and face him towards the corner, that works w/ keeping him there anyways. Recently I've been trying to just sit him in a chair and make him stay, it's been working pretty well! As long as I'm watching him and telling him not to move. But yeah, I'm interested in hearing other ideas.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big believer in understanding their motivations in doing something. So if you notice that there is a pattern to her misbehavior, ie when she's tired or hungry finding something to keep her entertained might be easier to do than finding a different disciplinary action.
ReplyDeleteAlso, she is at an age where she is exploring the boundaries of her world. And will constantly push them. She's not old enough to understand cause and effect yet though. So it's a difficult time.
I am not naive enough to think that that will solve all, or even most of the problem.
I personally am a fan of time outs. It takes time and effort to make them effective though. My kids have a chair in their room that they sit in during time out. And sometimes I spend a lot of time sticking them back in the chair before they calm down enough to stay there.
After the alloted time (which for my 1 year old is very short) I go in and explain to him what he did wrong and why he can't/shouldn't do it.
Also, I make sure that the time out spot doesn't have negative connotations so they don't freek out the instant they sit in the chair. We also read stories and I rock them in the same chair.
Anyway, this makes it sound like I'm great at this, when in reality I've given it so much thought since I'm really bad at this. I like to make sure to give the kid extra attention after the issue is resolved though. A little extra love goes a long way.
Just in case my previous comment wasn't long enough I would like to add one more thing.
ReplyDeleteI really try hard not to make any threats that I am not going to follow through with. Sometimes that means i have to get creative. But I think it's important that they know I mean what I say.
YA I TRIED DOING TIMEOUT WITH BROOKIE BUT THEN I WAS WATCHING THE SHOW " 18 KIDS AND COUNTING" AND SHE KNEELS DOWN AND TALKS TO HER KIDS AND EXPLAINS TO THEM WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS WRONG. YOU DO HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES, THEY ARE ONLY 18 MONTHS SO SOMETIMES THEY NEED TO JUST BE THAT AGE, BUT WHEN SHE DOES SOMETHING BAD LIKE HIT SOMEONE I PULL HER ASIDE AND TALK TO HER. I MAKE HER LOOK AT ME AND LISTEN, IF SHE DOESNT THEN WE SIT SOMEWHERE QUIET UNTIL SHE DOES, AND IT WORKS. NOW WHEN I SAY " R U GOING TO BE NICE OR DO WE NEED TO TALK?" SHE SAYS, NO AND STOPS THE BEHAVIOR. BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO TRY DIFFERENT THINGS TO SEE WHAT WORKS BEST FOR "hALLIE" BECAUSE WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MIGHT NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER! BUT BE CONSISTENT AND DON'T SAY YOUR GONNA DO SOMETHING THEN DON'T DO IT! NO OPEN THREATS!!!!!!! LOVES!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments ladies. I really needed the boast of encouragement. For time out before we were just putting Hallie in her room and shutting the door. The solitude was enough for her to learn her lesson. I guess now that she just plays in there we should do the chair thing. She does hate not having her freedom so it should work.
ReplyDeleteThanks again!
My daughter is only six months old so I haven't personally tried this yet, but I read in a book that for timeout it's recommended that it be in a separate, toddler-proofed room that's not their own and you use a ringing timer to count it. Set it for a couple minutes, or longer if needed, and teach them that when the timer rings, timeout is over.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry, I can't remember all of the exact reasons why they suggested this other than the obvious ones (i.e., preventing you from forgetting about your child), but I know plenty of moms who swear by this method. You could give this a try before you completely give up on timeout.
I know what you mean! I have a 16 month old, and I find it SO hard to discipline! Especially since he seems too young to understand "consequences." Being a mommy is hard!
ReplyDelete